A double standard?

"A lie cannot live" -  Martin Luther King, Jr.

There has been a lot of turmoil for me the last few weeks.  Some of my family members know that I don't believe the Jehovah's witnesses have absolute "truth".  They also know that I have done things in my life that I could be disfellowshipped for.  "Disfellowshipping" is a term witnesses use when they shun a former believer because they supposedly have done some kind of "wrongdoing".

Following is the vast list of offences the Watchtower has created for which a Jehovah's Witness can be disfellowshipped or disassociated.

Adultery (sexual intercourse with a person other than your marriage mate)

Apostasy - 

• Rebellion against Jehovah's organization 
• Promoting sects 

Associating with disfellowshipped people

Blood and blood transfusions

Drug use

Drunkenness

Dishonest business practices

Employment violating Christian principles -

• Working for any religious organization 
• Working in a gambling institution 
• Selling tobacco 
• Contract work at a military establishment                                                                               

False Worship -

• Attending another church 
• Following mourning customs that involve false worship

Fornication

• Bestiality 
• Incestuous marriage 
• Artificial insemination and surrogate motherhood.
• "True Christians, therefore, avoid surrogate motherhood as well as any procedures that involve the use of donated sperm, eggs, or embryos" 
• "Artificial insemination of a married woman by a donor other than her husband makes her guilty of adultery" 
• sexual abuse of children 

Fraud

Gambling or related employment

Gluttony

Greediness

Homosexuality

Idolatry

Loose conduct ( The Watchtower defines "loose conduct" as including "disrespect to elders". This 

enables this term to be used to disfellowship for a wide range of offences not elsewhere covered, and as such is used to cover all manner of sins, such as refusal to cease fellowship with disfellowshipped people, or even being contemptuous in a judicial meeting where no other sin can be proven)

Lying

Non neutral activities (involvement in politics and the military)

Military service 

Obscene speech 

Political involvement

Porneia. Includes oral and anal sex between married couples, mutual masturbation between persons 

not married to each other, homosexuality, lesbianism, fornication, adultery, incest, and bestiality.

Slander

Smoking or selling tobacco

Spiritism (includes yoga)

Stealing, thievery

Subversive activity

Uncleanness

• Sexually perverse practices within marriage, such as oral and anal sex 
• Heavy petting and breast fondling 
• Touching of sexual parts 
• Practice of viewing abhorrent Pornography

Violation of secular law

Violence, extreme physical abuse, fits of anger (includes boxing)  

Willful non support of family, endangerment of mates spirituality

Worldly celebrations such as Christmas

This is quite the list!  On their website (which was created mostly for the public to learn more about Witness) the Watchtower Society  make this claim:

http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/faq/shunning/

But at their district conventions this year, the Witnesses were taught this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yLdwe_6JsU

Is this Christian like behavior?  You decide.

"I'd like to be settled into somewhat of a normal life. Somewhat. I know it's never going to be completely normal."

 Michael Jordan 

Regular - standard - ordinary - common - usual...all of these words are synonyms for "normal".

 But really, what is "normal"?  Do any of us live completely "normal" lives?  When I was more active as a Jehovah's Witness, I thought it was completely "normal" to spend ninty plus hours out monthly preaching to others about the religion.  This was done no matter what the weather.  We endured extreme heat and cold, terential downpours ect.  Now I've scaled back from doing JW activities.  I go to work, I brought a house, I have a dog..."normal"?  Maybe.  

Something great has happend to me, I fell in love! " Normal", most people would say.  We've known each other for a while, we've been through good times (and bad ones).  I can't fathom my life without him.  He treats me well, his family is wonderful.  Looking at him, you notice something...he's always sitting.  The love of my life has disability that requires him to use a wheelchair.  Is our life "normal"?  You bet!  I'm not saying every day is easy.  But "normal" is what you make of it.  Our relationship is regular, standard, ordinary, common and usual.  

A couple of things that are bothering me...

There are two things that are completely taking control of my thoughts today:  testing and cults (or a nicer way to put it High controlling groups).  Two totally different things, but they  are completely occupying my life right now.

On Testing:

The one size fits all approach of standardized testing is convenient but lazy.

James Dyson

 In 2010, New York state adopted a new teacher evaluation law that said 20 percent of a teacher’s evaluation would be based on student growth on a state assessment or other comparable measure; 20 percent would be based on student achievement on other locally selected measures; and 60 percent would be based on locally negotiated evidence of teacher effectiveness. I really don't mind classroom visits or observations from the administrators at school.  They are welcome to my class at any time, honestly they don't bother me.  I feel that I am pretty good at what I do and I have a great rapport with my students.  I work in what is considered an "underprivileged" school district and the majority of my students have learning disabilities or other issues that may affect how they learn.  The problem is, they don't test well. 

Teachers in New York now have to set goals via a SLO for their students.  A Student Learning Objective (SLO) is an academic goal for a teacher’s students representing the most important learning for the semester or course. SLOs must include baseline performance data for each student, benchmarks to assess progress, and growth goal targets. SLOs are aligned to New York State’s Common Core, national or state standards. Teachers’ effectiveness scores for this component of their evaluation will be based upon the degree to which their goals are attained. 

What's wrong with a teacher setting goals for their students?  Nothing.  But I have a big problem with these SLO's, now students have to take a pre and post written test for every course they take.  I'm talking about EVERYTHING, including gym, art, music, home and careers and the like.  How is over testing producing well rounded students?  My students are sick of tests and I'm sick of them.  Here's my other issue with setting goals:  what if I set high expectations for my students and they don't achieve the test score that I thought they would achieve while another teacher teaching the same subject sets out a lower goal for all of her students, am I an ineffective teacher because I set the bar high?  Ok, I’m done venting about test.

On Cults:

One person's religion is another person's cult.

Philip Seymour Hoffman

One dictionary defines a cult as:

A system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.

A relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister

Deception lies at the core of mind-manipulating and high-demand ("cultic") groups and programs. One person who has extensively studied cults is Steven Hassan.  Steven Hassan became involved with the Moonies and upon being 'deprogrammed' went on to become a world's renowned cult specialist. The rising number of manipulative groups makes his books Combating Cult Mind Control (Park Street Press 1990) and Releasing the Bonds (Freedom of Mind Press 2000) important reading.

Destructive mind control can be understood in terms of four basic components, which form the acronym BITE:

Behavior Control (ex. Rigid rules and regulations,  a major time commitment to the group ect)

Information Control (ex. Use of deception, Access to non-cult sources of information minimized or discouraged, extensive use of cult generated information and propaganda ect)

Thought Control (Need to internalize the group's doctrine as "Truth", Black and White thinking, No critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy seen as legitimate ect)

 Emotional Control (Excessive use of guilt and fear, Fear of the "outside" world, the thought that there is no happiness or fulfillment outside of the group)

Since my spiritual "wake up" has happened, I have come to realize that Jehovah's witnesses are just another high control group and they don't have exclusive rights to the "truth".  Since this time, other high control groups have been intriguing to me.  I have been drawn to reading books and watching TV about the Amish as well as fundamentalist Mormons.  Although these groups have very different beliefs, they are all high control groups and share that similarity. 

Anyway, the reason why cults are bothering me today is because my sister (who is very brainwashed) gave me a call this afternoon.  I believe that she knows I have slowed down in my "service to Jehovah"  she thinks her call was encouraging to me, rather it just sounded crazy.  Here is some of what happened:

Me - How's Mexico (the JW headquarters sent her and her husband there on assignment)

Sister - Great! The JW's here are so nice, they are nothing like the worldly people (JW phrase for non witnesses) there is nothing out there in the world.  The people here are so poor they really need the truth.  But Bethel (where they are staying, JW owned and built) so beautiful...

JW's build beautiful facilities while the people who live outside of the facilities are starving.  They don't help out in the community or provided services for the poor, this behavior is so un Christian.  Then they have the audacity to think they are superior to EVERYONE else, people like Mother Therese and Gandhi are not important to witnesses because they were not witnesses.

Ok I'm done venting, thanks for reading!  Bless you if you got to the end of this blog post!!

June 1

“I will not eat cakes or cookies or food. I will be thin, thin, pure. I will be pure and empty. Weight dropping off. Ninety-nine... ninety-five... ninety-two... ninety. Just one more to eighty-nine. Where does it go? Where in the universe does it go?” 

― Francesca Lia Block, Echo

June 1st used to be an important date for me. The fifteen year old me had a specific goal for that date, I would be 120 lbs.  I never knew exactly how much weight I lost that year because before my extreme dieting started, I was afraid of scales.  If I could avoid them I would.  Then something happend, I decided that I needed to loose weight, I gave myself the goal of being 120lbs by June 1st.  I lost a lot of weigh that winter, to the point that a few months into my dieting I could not fit my clothing.  At one point I remember my family telling me that I looked good and I should stop loosing but I had a goal to achieve, I needed to be 120lbs even if it ment that I would cut back on what I ate, drastically.  Food became my enemy.  I counted every calorie, even the ones in a stick of gum or a breath mint.  I ate no sweets and avoided fat if at all possible.  My hands and feet were always freezing, possibly due to iron deficiency anima. I hardly had any energy, but I was skinny!

120lbs sounds like a "normal" body weight for someone my height, but in my body frame I was skinny.  My sister used to wrap her fingers around my ankles, my collar bones would protrude out.  I didn't care though.  By June 1st that year, I had reached my goal but I didn't stop there I continued to diet thought the summer.  I was finally winning the fight against the scale.  

I kept the weight off for abou a year, I celebrated my first June 1st anniversary as a skinny girl.  But something  happened that winter, the scale broke and my mom refused to buy a new one.  I became less obsessed with food and begain eating normally again.  By the time I weighed myself again, I had gained 15 lbs. I tried to loose th weight but I couldn't bring myself to be obsessed with food again.

Through the seventeen years since my original weight loss, my weight has gone up and down but it has never reached the point where I begain my journey as an overweight person.  I've learned the importance of regular exercise and balanced meals with little treats here and there.  This June 1st, I started out the morning with a nine mile bike ride and ended the day with a handful of m&ms.  

The Ten Commandments

Once you depart from the Ten Commandments as being the foundation of right and wrong, you are in a free fall.

Randall Terry 

In my opinion, there is probably no better set of moral laws then The Ten Commandments.  God has provided us with ten straight forward laws that we should follow.  If everyone in the world took to these laws, the world would be a much better place to live.  Here is a list of the simplified Ten Commandments:

1.  Put god first

2.  Worship god only

3.  Use god's name with respect

4.  Remember god's sabbath

5.  Respect your parents

6.  Do not hurt or kill people

7.  Be faithful in marriage

8.  Do not steal

9.  Do not lie

10.  Do not be envious of others

This was from an article  entitled 15 things you should give up to be happy http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

I especially liked number 15:

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Introvert

I have been called weird and crazy.  Some have suggested that I lack social skills.  Maybe this is true, but I believe I'm just an introvert.  An introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.  Introverts are hard to get to know and may feel uncomfortable around other people who they don't know well. 

Other characteristics of an introvert include:

• Very self-aware
• Thoughtful
• Enjoys understanding details
• Interested in self-knowledge and self-understanding
• Tends to keep emotions private
• Quiet and reserved in large groups or around unfamiliar people
• More sociable and gregarious around people they know well
• Learns well through observation

Introverts make up about 25 percent of the population, that's why we are not easily understood by most.  Here's a quick video that sums up our personality:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BfZatw7B5_I&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBfZatw7B5_I