I didn't mean to loose my faith in god it happened without me even realizing it. I grew up in a high control religion. A few months shy of my thirtieth birthday, I began to have douts about organized religion, especially the group I belonged to. I tried to do various things in order to find spirituality. For example, I visited some other churches, I tried to read the Bible, and I have done lots of talking with people of various beliefs.
Unfortunatly, I still lost my faith. Religion bothers me. Some things just don't make sense to me. Like, is my salvation based on my birth? Just because I was born in a Christian country and I was raised in a Christian religion, does that mean I am automatically saved? What if I were born in a totally different continent and was raised to believe not in Christ but something or someone else? Does that mean I would have no chance to be saved from gods wrath?
I continue going to religious meetings whith in the organization I grew up in. It's hard for me to let what I'm used to go. It's hard for me to disappoint my family, I know they will be if I told them I was done with religion. But my faith is gone, and I do want to find it again. But this time, I want my faith to be between god and myself, no religion envolved. So I will say a prayer:
"God, please help me find my faith again, please grant me wisdom and understanding in order to find my way. I want to love you, and appreciate all you have done for me. I want to give back and do good in the world. I want you to open my eyes and have me see the ways I can do this. Please god, please restore my faith."
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