Hate

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I open this post with a quote from Dr. King.  He was a man who lived his life in a very non violent, loving way.  The quote above is excellent and I should really practice it myself.  Should is a very important word.  I have hate in my heart right now for my sister and brother in law.  I hate them.  I'm not supposed to hate, especially your own family, but I do.  I prayed last night for the first time in a long time, I asked god to take this rage I have out of my heart, I asked him to bring peace to my soul again.  I don't wish to hate.  Unfortunately the emotion still lives inside of me.  

So I have decided to cut out destructive influences in my life, the ones that cause this unsettling feelings in my soul.  I cut out the the religion that was causing me bad feeling, next I will cut off my sister.  I'm sorry.  You may be family but you have broken me this weekend.  Your words and actions have caused some sort of divide in my life that my love and I have spent the last day trying to fix. I hate you.  I will try to learn from peaceful people like Dr. King.  But for right now, I'm done with you.

Beautiful lights

 I haven't been to a Jehovah's Witness meeting since this summer.  I decided to actually celebrate the holidays this year, without guilt.  I enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving meal with my boyfriend and his family.  I ate way too many desserts, we played  Bingo and even sang karaoke, it was quite an enjoyable evening.  The next night, I got a phone call from my party pooper mother.    "Why would you celebrate such a pagan holiday?" she yelled through the phone.  I informed her that the holiday had no religious roots and it's main theme was for families to get together for a meal.  Then a few days after that, my sister texted me saying "please give thanks to God every day and not just one day a year by eating turkey."  Geez, they clearly have missed the point of the holiday which is to be with family.  Which doesn't surprise  me since our family can't get together without some sort of major argument.

Since I am now like the spawn of Satan because I have decided to celebrate holidays, I figured I would go all out and even decorate my house a little.

I spent this evening watching the Rockefeller tree lighting special, and I even got little butterflies in my stomach when the tree lit up.  I'm beginning to like holidays...